What is Love? II: Mary is Still in Love with You
by theMatthewReview
Summary: From when the Dowager Countess declares this to Matthew to when his own mother does, the knowledge bubbles underneath the surface, along with the powerful feelings he himself feels he must forego. Chapter I previously published in the Matthew Review


Part one

**Highlights from an Opera** 1. Andante maestoso in E minor - _The Dowager Countess' Leitmotiv_

It had become easier for John Bates to assist a somewhat more agile Matthew Crawley into his wheelchair, both physically and emotionally. With the prospect of recovery now ahead, no more almost delicate questions about certain sensations came from the heir; instead, tonight, his faithful valet-turned-assistant could smile and reassure him that he was getting stronger all the time. Bates was about to open the door for Matthew to take himself out of the room when there suddenly came a knock.

Through the little crack in the doorway came a familiar, plummy voice:

'Cousin Matthew? May I come in?'

It was just the Dowager Countess' way of brooding over the flock still to address him so after all these years. Bates stepped aside to allow the gracious lady to come into Matthew's little guest room.

'Please,' Matthew allowed her as he politely attempted to rise from his wheelchair.

Yet this visit was to be as informal as dignity and propriety would allow as soon as the elder Lady Grantham had apologized for coming into a man's bedroom in such a manner. She soon sat on a regular chair before him while still appearing to lean upon her cane like a budgerigar hen upon her perch. The dainty fragrance of her old-fashioned eau de parfum filled Matthew's nostrils as she began to speak. Soon she was administering the young man a double dose of her imperious forthright manner…

… right up to her main point, her emphasis. That would take him mostly by surprise, save upon the level he had so desperately been trying to sublimate:

'Mary is still in love with you.'

There came an allusion to Juliet in the tomb, and the Dowager's usual sage advice. Matthew gave these a fair hearing, along with an elegant argument about his not disregarding Miss Lavinia Swire's willingness to make great sacrifices on his behalf. In conclusion, Violet Crawley offered up a subtly provocative argument of her own - ay, there's the rub! - that for the moment left him at a loss for a response: '

You may live forty, fifty years with one of these two women! Just make sure you have selected the right one.'

Certain that his sense of honour dictated what he would do, no matter what his poor heart desired, there seemed to Matthew only one right thing to do, though, and that was to stay the course… … and there, in the face of the truth, lay the dissonance.

2: Andante leggiero - _key of A flat._ A few years previously.

Reggie Swire's daughter, Lavinia, was a pretty girl, sweet, loyal and open-hearted, much like Matthew, in fact. The two of them had met when he had been in London on a very brief leave. Her being the daughter of a fellow solicitor had not mattered much to him at all. Unconsciously he based his attraction to her on how she was quite unlike the woman Matthew had been trying to forget; certainly he was on the rebound, and enlisting in the Army to fight in France had not helped him to put his heart's desire out of his mind. It had been in a tea shop in Mayfair, on a later leave that was almost as short as the first, that Matthew did as many a British soldier did. Since he considered Lavinia the closest thing he now had to a votive flame, he capitalised on sentiment, acting as quickly as his sensibilities would allow.

'My dear… if I manage to come home safely… would you consider marrying me after the war is over?'

In her innocent, trusting way, the timid Lavinia invested her heart into Matthew's kindness and sincerity, thinking this was the beginning of love. What was there not to love about him, even if the prospect of being the lady of a manor house was terrifying? '

Oh, yes, Matthew! I'd be delighted.' '

We'll be so happy, Lavinia…' he crooned, closing his beautiful blue eyes and sealing things with a chaste kiss.

The young lady was overjoyed; the young man was determined to make the prospect work. All the more so, because he had received a letter from Lord Grantham a few days before he had gone to London, telling him about the estate and the family:

_'… Mary wonders how you are and whether you have received the wool socks she knitted for you to wear. Is there anything else you need in the trenches, dear chap?…'_

Being cousins was nice. Being able to resist the beauty and charm that lay beneath Mary's cool exterior was still quite difficult, to say the least. Therefore Matthew hoped the warmth and contrast of Lavinia's sweet personality would be enough to stop the constant, deep unrest in his heart.


End file.
